Why You Need To Hold The Line on Dyslexia Accommodations

How many times has your dyslexic kid been told by their teacher, let's just try this without the accommodations and see how it goes? Today we're going to talk about why that's a bad idea.

It got me diagnosed when I was in third grade and it was the most relieving day of my life because I finally had like kind of a place to hang my hat and say, see, I told you I'm not lazy, definitely not stupid. I just learned differently. Like that's totally okay. We dyslexics, we were often, you know, just set up for failure because, you know, we were given books and tasks that really are not appropriate for the level that we were at.

So how do you expect anyone to be open to learning when their entire relationship with reading, with learning is physical pain? Wish I had understood when I was younger that the fact that my brain worked differently than people meant that I would be good at things in ways that other kids were not going to be good at. I must assume, I can't be dyslexic because letters don't jump up and down for me.

Dyslexia is not a disorder. It is not a disease. Once you sort of own it and embrace it, then you can have the power to deal with it. It's sort of empowering and also enriching to the whole community. To those who don't understand what dyslexia is, that it's not a negative, it's not a problem. It's like we keep saying superpower. Hey everyone, we're Nick and Sonja and this is Dyslexia Journey and we have a pretty short and sweet but important video for you today.

Like we said in the intro, it's pretty common for a dyslexic kids teacher to encourage them to sort of try something without their accommodations. There's this sense of like, oh, let's just push them at their edge or, you know, maybe there's a concept in the teacher's mind that it'd be better if they didn't have to use them. And, you know, it can vary a little bit from kid to kid, which is true, like on which accommodations are most important or most essential.

But we really want to talk about why it's really important to not let this like go forward without advocating for your kid or, you know, helping your kid advocate for themselves if they're older. Like why that is and like why you just, why you want to hold the line on it, really. And I think it is often born out of expediency from the teacher, for example, of extra time. Often they just, I think, don't want to deal with the managing the extra time.

So it's not, not always even in the kids, it's not always even in the eyes of the teacher in the kids' best interest. Right. Well, okay. So I would say there's two, probably more, but there's, there's two sort of cases. One is a teacher who really does like to sort of, there's sort of the ones who are extra into like kids being independent, and giving them those kinds of skills, which is really important.

I think in the case that you're talking about, Nick, though, it, it, it can sound sort of callous, but I think usually it'll be in a case where the teacher's like, that's, I know what, I know it won't affect their grade because I'll make sure it doesn't affect their grade. So they have sort of like that going on in the background that they're not going to, you know, they're not being like cruel about it and only like looking at their own timeframe, but they like know maybe that they can, well, I'm not going to count that that much, or that's, you know, I can take that into account in the grading.

Like themselves, but it's still really important to hold the line on this. So yeah, that's what has happened to our daughter a lot is, is when things like kind of writings in class where, where they'll say, oh, this is just a practice. So just, you know, let's just do it at the regular time and see how it goes. Yeah. And, and I will say, I'm saying hold the line on this partly because, you mean, it is a line, right?

Has that ever happened that that has happened? Right. Yes. But it's, so in that case, it's like, it made us more aware though. And we had to sort of talk to her about, about holding the line, like going forward. So it's not like it never might happen at all. Like, but it's like, should be this cue to like, really make sure to be on top of it. So let's go into now why it's so important to hold the line on this.

Yeah. So I think the best way that I can try to explain this is if you, if you substitute, instead of saying, let's try this without your dyslexia accommodations, if you say, okay, you wear glasses, let's just try this reading assignment without your glasses and see how it goes. That sounds ludicrous, obviously. Like everyone knows that you just, you can't read very well without your glasses. So yeah, it's just fundamentally it's, it's, it's going forward with such a misunderstanding, like essentially of what accommodations are like that. It's a really important to hold the line sort of from kind of from an overall advocacy perspective for everyone, but of course for your child as well.

Yeah. So I think this, this kind of attitude, what it, what it conveys is an underlying belief that accommodations are either a not really valid, be not really necessary or see something that you can outgrow or learn to do without. Right. That kind of gets into the second point about why this isn't, you know, a misunderstanding, which maybe goes more to those teachers who are just trying to push them to their edge, you know, see if they can do a little more because it's, it's, yeah, it's kind of an idea maybe that they, they need the accommodation almost more like to catch up rather than the fact that this accommodation is something they're likely to use forever. Right. Like, I mean, that's something that they would always need because it is just this difference that's always going to stay right. Like in, with their particular brains.

Right. And so, I know I sounded a little bit negative on teachers earlier, but to give teachers the benefit of the doubt, I think a lot of them are thinking, oh, I need to prepare you for standardized tests, college, a job, real life. Right. And, I think that's well-meaning, but, but it, it just kind of misses the mark here because, someone who's dyslexic is not going to, outgrow the need for say extra time on, on any particular type of work that involves reading or writing.

Right. Exactly. and I think, I think it's important to distinguish here that of course there's things that, you know, your kid could probably be pushed, you know, or like kind of your teacher could work with them on their edge for something for, it's just that it's not about their accommodations because that's a completely different thing. Right. Right. Yeah. So, so total flip side of that is that dyslexic kids definitely can improve their reading and writing skills and the speed at which, at which they can do it. I mean, with the proper type of instruction for dyslexic kids, they can learn to read and write fluently. But you would want like a teacher, let's say the teacher isn't the one who's mainly working with them on the reading. For example, you wouldn't want the teacher to just sort of decide what that is at any given moment. That would be with whatever program your dyslexic

kid is, is using. Right. So it's also really important that, you know, when possible, you prevent your kid from experiencing, you know, again, the frustration of them not doing well. Right. Because, it's going to happen to them. Okay. Like people might say, Oh, but it's good for kids to experience failure. Sometimes that like happens anyway, dyslexic kids. And they've already come to this point often where they felt different and they've noticed that they're maybe not as good as reading as their peers. so it's, it, in this case, it's just better to not have to have them go through that, that if they take, let's say a test and the teacher doesn't allow them the extra time that they don't do well on it, because that tends to undermine their self-confidence. Even if they know they're dyslexic and all that, like just the experience of it, it's quite negative.

Or, or even worse, let's say it's reading aloud in front of the class. Not only would they feel badly because they don't do it well, that would be in front of their entire class who might even laugh at them or, or even if they don't, it makes them feel self-conscious probably. So, so yeah, so it's, it's, it's really important to, to be on top of it for those reasons as well, because, you know, we're, we're trying really hard when we're, when we have our dyslexic kids then identified and in a program to, you know, to help them feel confident in what they can do and the ways that they, can be accommodated and help to succeed and to show what they know. So why put them through the experience and, and not just why put them through it, but like, it's bad to put them through, right. It's actively harmful,

actively harmful, potentially, at least potentially to put them through having to experience not doing well, you know, on the thing simply because they weren't, weren't having the accommodations that they could use. And then one final point is, you know, this gets to holding the line is that it could become a slippery slope, right? Like, like if, if the teacher starts to think of it more and more that way, or, you know, if just in general, it becomes, it's becoming a pattern, you know, that they, they aren't able to use their accommodations. Like maybe it does happen the one time, like I said, where they don't get it and then you're on top of it, but like, you don't want it to continue because things can easily fall into patterns, partly because of the busyness of the classroom and how, you know, sometimes there aren't many resources. It could easily become a pattern and then,

you know, your kid isn't getting the accommodations they're supposed to have. Yeah. And also for the dyslexic kid, themselves, it, it, like, especially for younger kids who aren't able to advocate for themselves as well, then, then they start to just learn that, that they don't get accommodations and then they, that that's just the pattern that gets set with them. And then they aren't, they don't even think to advocate for themselves. Right. Exactly. Because a lot of what is what they're doing and that, and it's actually where some of this edge is, is, and that they uniquely get to do, which helps them later in life actually is to be, to advocate for themselves. so we want to also help them have successful advocacy for themselves around accommodations and that they really understand themselves, the meaning of it. Cause sometimes people might, you know, question what,

why, and why they're getting the accommodations and that can sow some self doubt around it or confusion around it. And so helping them to get really clear on what they need and advocating for themselves is really essential. And so this kind of thing, where they're not getting their accommodations, it's definitely a point, not only that we need to hold a line on because of that, but it does provide them an opportunity. Often this is where that opportunity comes in to do the slightly harder advocacy where it's not just the proactive part, but it's like with something happening in the moment that isn't going the way that we would hope. So hopefully this was helpful.

let us know if you've had experiences like this in the comments. Also, we welcome any suggestions for topics that we want us to cover, or if you have any questions, you can send us questions. and we occasionally do sort of a question roundup where we answer this. Yes. email us at parenting Dyslexia Journey at gmail.com. Thanks everyone.