Dyslexia Affects Everything!

Dyslexia is a learning difference, so we expect it to affect things like homework or how a student does in class, but what about something else like a kid's mood or their choice of after-school activity? Could it affect those too?

Hey everyone, we're Nick and Sonja. Welcome to Dyslexia Journey. So dyslexia, as you may know, is a learning difference, a difference in the brain that affects things like reading and writing. It also can convey benefits like visual-spatial skills. However, people often fail to realize all the different various ways that being dyslexic can manifest in someone's life. Like, what are the different areas that aren't necessarily what we associate with academia or reading or writing very specifically?

On its own, that could be affected. And so today we're going to talk about eight of those areas. Yeah, and so we've touched on some of this in previous episodes, but it's really interesting to think about and to observe in sort of the dyslexic people we know that, like Sonja said, obviously we expect people with dyslexia to have trouble with reading and writing. Like, that's sort of obvious, like that's sort of obvious, and then as we've talked about in previous episodes, they have better visual-spatial skills, but these eight areas are things that you might not have thought of that would necessarily be associated with dyslexia.

So anyways, let's jump in. So the first way that dyslexia can kind of manifest outside of school in the workplace is with regards to your child or an adult with dyslexia, their self-esteem and self-image. And so this may be a fairly obvious one. You know, if you have some sort of learning difference, often talked about as a learning disability, it's going to probably be a struggle in school to some extent. And so a child with dyslexia might start to have their self-image affected if they're not doing so well in school. If it's a struggle, they might start to feel dumb.

They might be told that they're not working hard enough, so they might start to think of themselves as being lazy. They might start to internalize some of those negative self-images. And then even after getting identified with dyslexia, that also affects their self-image because then they are a dyslexic person or a person with dyslexia. And so then they can start to take on that identification, which is not inherently good or bad, but it is, you know, that affects their self-image and then their sort of identity as someone with dyslexia.

Right. And, you know, I think you'd hope that they can embrace, you know, being dyslexic, but because there still is a fair amount of stigma and just misunderstanding in society around it, I think that's also how it can be affected. But, of course, this particular piece is going to be very, very individual, depending on when someone's identified, depending on, you know, just all kinds of other factors, negative experiences that they have in school or don't.

So it's definitely a link to this Dyslexia Journey path that they would be on, potentially, but it will be very individualized. Yeah. And advice. And again, this may sound obvious, but I think it's worth restating very frequently advice to parents, to teachers, to anyone with a dyslexic kid or adult in their life. Make sure that that that they know that, you know, that they are not stupid or dumb or lazy like that's it's just too easy for people with a learning difference to start to feel negative about their intelligence.

And so it's really important for those of us who have someone in our life to really, you know, not to like artificially boost them up, but just, you know, don't don't make negative comments. Don't let other people make negative comments about it and just really support their self-esteem in that way. Well, and I think an important point there is that someone could be more sensitive about it, potentially, especially if they had previous negative experiences.

So that doesn't mean, again, having to walk on eggshells around them, but it's maybe just being more sensitive to the fact if something's particularly frustrating, you know, let's say you're doing homework with your kid and it's taking a while longer or something, just being very conscious the whole time of how you're speaking about it. Yeah, and even that made me think, even jokes that might go over well with a kid who doesn't have dyslexia, like if something's taking them longer or whatever, you know, often people will sort of joke about it.

And those jokes sometimes don't land very well with dyslexic kids, for sure. Right. So a second way that being dyslexic can affect wider, larger areas of life than just academia is in how tiring and exhausting it can be. So, of course, that can mean getting tired while doing the homework, but then that makes you tired in general, too, right, or exhausted. It really is because it takes so much more effort to do the reading and the work.

You know, we had the recent interview with Cliff Weitzman, who is the founder of Speechify and who's dyslexic, who was talking about this. And, you know, he had the anecdote about falling asleep at the library. So that's just, like, one example, but it's important to realize that that does affect someone who is dyslexic. When they're doing anything that's reading or writing related, it's going to take them that more effort and just be exhausting.

So exhausting in the process of completing whatever that is, but also just more generally. And it might mean that they need more breaks than other kids. They might need more downtime and so on. It's just really good to be aware of that. Right. And I think sometimes, partly for reasons of just time spent in general, but also for the exhaustedness. You know, occasionally someone has talked to us and said, you know, when they were in college, for example, they took a lighter course load.

Not everybody does that, right? But so it's going to be individual in terms of how a dyslexic person, you know, accommodates for it in their own life and schedule. But it definitely is interacting with everything there. And another way that this can kind of manifest is they really, people with dyslexia really have to be kind of on to focus. And so sometimes they may just not feel up to putting out that effort.

And so they might want you, for example, to read something to them. Even if once they've learned to read, they may at that particular moment just not want to make the effort to read that themselves. Like if you're out to dinner looking at a menu, they may, they're relaxed. They've already been spending all this time doing homework that day. They might, they might want you to just like read the menu to them so that just because it's so exhausting for them, they've already put out so much effort that day.

And another reason why audiobooks or Speechify could be a very helpful tool as well, partly for, you know, speeding things up in terms of getting the work done. But also because it's that break, right? Even if they can read it, it's that, it's that sort of break from it being that exhausting. Yeah. And for me as a parent, I know that there are lots of times where I've, I find myself thinking or even saying like, oh, well, you can do that.

Like you can read that. And then I realized, oh, well, yeah, like she knows she can read that. Like she's asking me to read it to her right now because she doesn't feel up to putting out that effort. Right. Exactly. Yeah. Okay. So the, third, way in which dyslexia can, affect someone's whole life, it's kind of related to the one we were just talking about where, doing, written work is, is so exhausting.

As kind of a corollary to that, someone with dyslexia is, it really is going to influence kind of how much time they have, to do, both sort of school and work type activities and to do extracurricular activities and, and free time. and so, you know, this, this could go in a couple of different directions. if, if, if there's someone who's particularly motivated, then they may spend sort of more time than other kids on, on schoolwork or, or more time than other adults on, on work, leaving them less, free time for activities or for socializing, et cetera.

you know, or it could go the other direction where it's just kind of so exhausting that they let the schoolwork or fall by the wayside, and, and really still do the other activities. But then, but then their schoolwork suffers. Yeah. Maybe particularly if there's the, you know, they have a passion for a particular activity, you know, which can be really healthy, right. to pursue that. but then it's, it's that balance, right?

So it's kind of like, it's kind of like the classic work life or school life balance, but like really more intense, I guess is a good way to think of it. It's kind of like ratcheted up for, for dyslexic people, I think. So, you know, like, like for me, I, there's a lot of things I want to do. I have trouble balancing all of it. and I think it's important to remember that for people with dyslexia, that's, I think generally even, even to a greater level, cause things take sort of more mental effort sometimes.

Right. Our fourth way that we want to talk about here, that being dyslexic can affect all areas of life is in moods, maybe particularly frustration, but, other moods as well. So, of course, the struggle to read, maybe particularly first learning to read can be quite frustrating. and struggling in school can be frustrating. You can see how that could lead to, you know, just generally not feeling great. We already mentioned potential impacts on self-esteem, depending just on how everything goes and if they have negative experiences, but it can also look like it doesn't even necessarily happen right in that moment that the struggle to read is happening or necessarily in school.

Like, maybe your kid will have more meltdowns after school. So that's, that's a big possibility. And then in older kids, it might look more like depression and anxiety. we do have an episode where we interviewed therapist Donna McCutcheon and she was definitely talking about this. yeah, I, I believe, I don't have the exact figures, but I believe she mentioned that, kids with dyslexia and or learning disabilities, I can't remember, are at higher risk for, depression and anxiety.

Yeah, I can't remember the exact number either, but that was definitely a piece of it. So that's something just to be aware of and be mindful of that, that, that just is often the case, unfortunately, because of, of the journey. But of course, just to put a positive spin on it, even though these are mostly challenges we're talking about, that doesn't mean, of course, that there can't be resources and support and help, but it's something to be aware of and on the lookout for.

Yeah, for sure. And as a parent, you know, we've, we've talked about this in previous episodes as well, but obviously, supporting your child, listening to your child, respecting their emotions, you know, whenever they come up, are, you know, the sort of key, key tips for, for helping them, with this aspect of it. And realizing that there might be that link there, or it might be one of the links to either the meltdowns or anxiety and depression, potentially, even if it's not, you know, very clear in time why, for example.

All right. So the fifth aspect of sort of regular life that dyslexia can, can affect, is social dynamics. So thinking of this, mostly for kids, it can really, we, we already talked about how dyslexia can make, someone feel like they have less free time. And so they might be less inclined, to, to want to socialize. it can also affect, just people feeling, self-conscious. Again, we talked about the self-esteem issue. People can feel self-conscious with, around their peers, if, if, especially if they're being bullied or made to feel stupid in school.

and then finally, it can also affect choice of activities. So especially in, maybe elementary school age where, people are kind of just learning to read or maybe some, you know, if someone with dyslexia, if their friends are all comfortable reading and they aren't yet, they might be reluctant to, to do things, that involve reading, that you might not even think of as involving reading things like games, where you have to like read cards or, or, word games.

There's a lot that, you know, are word games. So yeah. Things like Mad Libs, you know, filling in the blanks, with words, you know, even video games, sometimes involve reading, instructions or, or text on the screen. so again, it's just something to be aware of. Like if you notice that your kid is hesitant to, spend time with people, certain, friends, or, or they, they seem stressed out after, being with their friends, you know, there could be something like this going on.

Right. So the seventh way that being dyslexic can affect an area of life outside of, you know, academics and literally reading and writing is in preference for not just necessarily activities they might do with their friends, but actually like pursuits. So after school activities, free time activities, maybe they do on their own, especially when they're younger. so some of that can have to do with a potential strength, right? Like it just, if you, if they're good at visual spatial things or, you know, more creative and, that can definitely affect why they're picking a particular activity, but it can also work in the reverse.

That maybe they don't pick something like, let's say mock trial in high school, because there's a lot more, it's a lot more academic feeling in the traditional reading and writing kind of way. So even if they'd be interested in doing it, there might be some hesitation there. I'm sure there's exceptions of dyslexic people who have done that, but, probably there's going to be more likelihood of steering a bit away from things that are going to feel at all more like school or more reading and writing oriented.

And, and, you know, obviously everyone gravitates towards their strengths, right? But I think in this case, it's, it's important to realize or to be cognizant of this potential effect, because it might prevent someone from, from doing something that they really would like just because of that. So, so an example that comes to mind is someone, with dyslexia in elementary school or middle school, or maybe even high school might avoid, they might be a good singer.

They might enjoy singing, but they might avoid choir because they don't want to have to read, you know, lyrics in front of everyone because that would be a challenge for them. Or even music reading could potentially be an issue. And we are going to have someone on in a future interview, actually, who's going to talk about music and how this all plays in. So you can look forward to that. but yeah, so really just, it's mostly an awareness that that can affect things.

It's not necessarily something to like intervene with. It would only be if, you know, the kid really seems like, or adult, if someone really like wants to pursue something and it's, it's becoming a challenge. Are there ways that it can be supported so that it actually can actually happen? Yeah. And just as a parent, or yourself, if you're dyslexic, I mean, it's really worth trying to, to, to really suss out like, you know, am I, or is my child avoiding this activity?

Maybe because they're not interested in it or, or, or because they're worried about some aspect relating to reading and writing. Alright, so our seventh topic around dyslexia affecting your whole life is around family dynamics. So, you know, obviously, when, when you're in a family, any, any thing that's going on is going to affect the whole family to some extent. And so dyslexia being a learning difference, being somewhat stressful is going to affect the whole family dynamics.

and this, this is really, you know, obviously unique to each person in each family. but some ways that it could manifest is, with the, parents being sort of stressed out about it. And then, the child maybe noticing that and then feeling guilty about it. it could, it could look like some kind of sibling, rivalry or jealousy if there's, you know, perhaps similar to, to, as if, if there's a child with, with a chronic disease where, perhaps other siblings feel like that child is getting more attention if they're dyslexic.

or, perhaps the child with dyslexia feeling like they're often getting singled out, because it's more negative attention, perhaps. there's just like a number of different ways that this could look. And I'm, I, you know, we're not experts in, in family dynamics, but, you know, there's just some ideas based on what we've observed. Yeah. So it's just, again, something to be mindful of, anything that's a stressor, right? It's going to affect a family in various different ways.

So just trying to get really support around that in whatever way you can. You know, if you need to do family therapy or if, you know, having outlets like a support group or, you know, friends to talk to can help, I believe too. Yeah. And I was just being careful and this probably really goes without saying, but, you know, don't, don't blame the dyslexic kid. Try, try your best not to make them feel like they're the source of this, this trouble, which is hard sometimes when you're all feeling stressed out.

Well, and this is reminding me of a point also brought up though, by a different psychologist we had on, my mother-in-law, Aletha Solder, who mentioned that, you know, it is also possible to repair though, because, you know, under stress, sometimes we don't say things the exact way we want to. So then it's important to realize that we can go talk to the child and repair and do some repair, some apology repair kind of, kind of things.

So, so all is not lost if, if something doesn't go well in terms of a stressful moment. Okay. So our eighth and final way that being dyslexic can affect other areas of your life beyond academics and reading and writing is if you have another sort of physical condition, for example. So it could be another learning difference as well. Like if you have ADHD, there's going to be some interaction between, you know, your ADHD, how it affects your learning and other aspects of your life and the dyslexia.

But let's, there can be also something like headaches, right? I mean, when there's all that intense concentration, for example, going on in that homework doing or in something where they, a dyslexic person really has to concentrate, it's more likely you get the tension headache, for example. Yeah, and I think it's important to realize that this, you know, might, like, like, it's easy to assume that this is just psychosomatic, that someone is like, you know, stressed out or trying to avoid school.

So they say they have a headache or, or they really feel like they have a headache, but it's really, you know, psychosomatic, but that's not, that's not necessarily true. I mean, it really can be that just like having to concentrate that hard, like makes your headache worse. Right, right. So it's, yeah, it's just important to realize how everything can, you know, all interrelate. So those are the eight ways that we wanted to talk about today about how dyslexia can affect lots of different areas of life.

But of course, there's probably many others and we'd love it if you would share yours in the comments below.